Me as a thief: Steals the US Constitution. Replaces it with a perfect forgery, except the Second Amendment has been edited from “the right to bear arms” to “the right to bare arms.” Breaking News the next day: Nation has been misreading the Constitution for over 200 years. Historians mortified. Politicians scramble to save face. Gun control laws go into effect nationwide. School principals trying to punish high school girls for wearing tank tops get slapped with a lawsuit for violating their Second Amendment right to bare arms. I fall asleep on a mountain of money in my mansion in the Bahamas. Suck it Nicolas Cage.